…Where I won’t love him.

 I am doing better with it than I ever thought possible. The worst happened and I could deal with it.

I can feel myself returning stronger than ever before and yet …coming up the escalators tonight in the station I was floored completely by a memory of him and I – a happy one. It was so powerful, painful, overwhelming.

I never really buy into the … “He probably wasn’t right for you anyway”. I do buy into his circumstances . This was the only option for him. It might always be the only option for him. So I understand why I can’t wait and have to move on. 

Just when I think I’m getting over it, I’m putting him in a box marked “past lessons learnt” , the tears are back. 

I wonder if it ebbs and flows for him too? Just when he thinks he’s forgotten, is he also floored by a memory?

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