For most of my life I knew best. There were a handful of select individuals I might listen to – but my respect for them had to be huge and I considered myself so much more enlightened than most of humanity. After all I was highly successful at work by my mid twenties. By my mid thirties I was married, able to spend whatever I liked, had two houses, lots of friends and a loving family
When I started to dismantle those rigidly held structures of house, marriage, work and even country ten years ago, in order to authentically be myself, I started to listen better. It’s not like I’m not still successful by the way, nor have I lost all my relationships – far from it I’ve gained more, but I did for a period give it all up and whilst all the other structures have been rebuilt, this time on my own terms and with greater insight, the husband still eludes me.
These last few weeks of recovery from a terrible heartbreak have been a huge lesson in listening.
I’ve shared with lots of people and have learnt something from almost everyone. Each conversation has built on the last I have treated what they have said as gold. I have felt privileged to hear what they’ve shared.
All of them without exception have two views in common. Firstly that I deserve someone who is not conflicted but able to offer me their whole heart. Secondly that the idea that I will be alone forever is laughable. I’m toying with the idea of treating it as a quest for an amazing partnership . I’m not ready yet … But when I am.
I intend to take forward this new listening ability. I am sure at no point does anyone have life completely sorted and if you think you do that’s a sure fire alarm bell that you don’t.