If you want a case study of how relationships are impacted by social media we would be it.
Our relationship began on twitter. On several occasions I’ve found myself blocked by his wife who held his passwords. I always felt an awful surge of hurt assuming it was him and immediately asked about it. She even did this when he was more or less living with me. At one point she followed me herself which gave me a turn and then blocked me – even though she never tweeted at all. She formed an opinion of me via my feed that I was a flirt. She’s right I love teasing my mostly male, older audience on twitter I think it makes everyone happy.
The final straw, the evening he decided he had to go home, she was utterly distraught on the floor, because he had retweeted something I tagged him on. As he put it, forget the fact we are sleeping together it’s retweeting you which drove her over the edge.
We have a joint jokey twitter alter ego we created which we used when wanting to make tentative contact with each other without direct approach. My best friend hates that. She finds it completely sordid and she’s right. When we use it it’s because the devil has taken hold…
But I also run many other twitter accounts for the business which I can see him through and he likes to get retweeted by us/me as we hold a lot of contacts…
I’ve not checked his feed deliberately over the last week but went in last night and discovered he’s trying to be more circumspect and less prolific with his use of twitter. He will see that showing off streak as being part of his downfall. This morning my twitter account had been left on his page and I find between midnight and 530am I’d been blocked. He’s clearly gone home.
I begged him not to block me and not to email or call me to say we can’t ever speak again which I know his wife will also demand. I thought I would be beyond hurt if either of these things occurred.
I am sad to reveal a less than appealing side of my personality, but I actually feel powerful about it. I know it was her or at her insistence. The fact she feels compelled to do this when it makes no difference to my being able to see him or interact with him shows the huge depth of insecurity and even madness this has driven her to. If this is the sign she is hanging out to me to say “he’s mine” she doesn’t need to do that. I know that is the case. I know our relationship can never work whilst she still wants him and he feels he has wronged her.
I can imagine the tears, recriminations and demands which he has to comply with as the party in the wrong.
All this makes me more determined not to contact him for the time being and not even to play with him through another of our accounts. They don’t need my help for that relationship to be hard work. Best prepare for the “we can never talk again” phone call then…