I promised I’d write every day but I think it’s a good sign that today I don’t feel like it.
I realise I am no longer dreading seeing “him” in a few weeks. I’m sure there will be a wobble or two when I do but as things stand I am completely at peace with the way things are between us right now.
I cannot believe how distinguishing and understanding that I have made myself smaller in order to attract a man (“him” included) has given me such a breakthrough in authentic self expression. That this in itself is a huge key to leadership and over the last few days I’ve seen my networks explode and my projects in the industry I serve start to attract lots of attention. It’s no coincidence that Landmark run a Self Expression and Leadership programme.
Meantime I suspect he is having to be very controlled in what he says – certainly in what he tweets – his self expression will have taken a hit. I’m sure he misses the easy communication between us- as I do too on occasion.
Whilst he relates to himself as smaller than I relate to him (“I can’t understand why you love me” a consistent refrain) I feel I have to damp down who I am to make him feel better. That’s been a consistent approach in my relationships.
Being myself completely and utterly has not put people off. I’ve got a date in a couple of weeks.