..show off and a bit of a flirt.  I love to be the centre of attention, love my friends and colleagues and enjoy watching them flourish.  I’m speedy and whilst I look disorganised I can also stay on top of an awful lot of detail..

It turns out I was born to events management.

The first time I ran that event, 3 years ago, I felt like a fraud. I had no idea what I was doing, did not know any of the exhibitors or how to do “snagging” (industry term ;))  This time I utterly owned it.

I created a party last week.  Not a trade show, but a party.  There were cupcakes and prosecco; audiences with industry celebs; “the wall” challenge, keynote speakers who are genuine celebrities; heart badges; prizes for performance; a catwalk show, new initiatives for women – all alongside the trade show content and legislative updates.  Mostly there were lots and lots of happy people; lots of smiles and hugs.  We utterly smashed it.

Not everything went to plan, but nothing that didn’t, mattered.

Oh apart from one tiny thing.

I’m also, it transpires, sadly still a bit in love with that man.

I thought he would have made sure he watched his drink intake and had company. He didn’t.  Yes there was a small retrograde step, but it did not take me back to square one. There is nothing in the diary at all in front of us now – and we are unlikely to see each other again.

It may be sad but I love my celebrity status in this industry. I loved being tweeted by exhibitors to ask me to pop by their stand for a photo; being stopped in the aisles for hugs; being texted about meeting for cake. My network exploded even further this week.

I have no idea what the next year holds for me, but it’s something bigger work wise.

Men? I must just scare them off.  I must just be too much.  I promised my coach I’d “be” love and connection this week. I was. But I was also performer, joker, leader.  I don’t know what the answer is. I hope one comes my way soon to love me. I really do.

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