And where did that famous equilibrium go I wonder?!

 Knocked completely this morning by my early morning call, followed by a myriad of work upsets. The small fires which were burning are threatening to engulf me and I’m at the point where the straw is about to break the camel’s back …

And then my daughter”s  dad texts to say the holiday dates for him and his girlfriend he’d given me were in fact incorrect – not only giving me 15 days rather than 8 to sort but the question of Dorset to italy on the same day….

The car drop off and pick up of course was not straight forward either, following a broken down train. 

And yet another weirdo on Tinder.. They sound ok on the tin … Restaurant consultant, ex HSE inspector, cafe owner, physics professor – yet only one of them ( the cafe owner) turns out not to have some extraordinary character flaws from hyper sensitivity to a napoleon complex….

I’m calling time tonight. A takeaway with my mad neighbour. And then time to evaluate what I am putting out into the universe which is delivering mud rather than pearls right now 😉 I’m not entirely out of ideas on that one.. 

And this is nothing like the upset of the first five months of this year.. I know it’s short term , I’m optimistic about the future – especially one which doesn’t require me to find another man to wash this one out of my hair.

 I realise today it started in earnest between us exactly a year ago.  A year of his indecision. A year of the joy of being reunited followed by the pain and stress of cutting each other off. I recognise that I have facilitated all this by being happy with scraps, allowing them to reassure me that there was always hope.  

I have totally run out of respect for him. Whilst I would certainly not rule out taking him back if he came to my door with his marriage definitively over, I know that is unlikely. Far more likely is a constant repetition of the last year and I so need a rest from all that. 

So work, holidays,  friends. I’ve deleted tinder and deleted his number . 


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