When your baby is born everyone rushes to tell you to enjoy this time because it is short and won’t come again. Yet for me it was not an enjoyable time. Rushes of love for fat arms and gooey cheeks were counterbalanced with immense frustration at our non comprehension her extremely loud cries and desire to never ever leave me alone. Extreme separation anxiety, difficulties breast feeding – all against a background of being away from my family and close friends with a husband who clearlydidn’t want to be with me any more.
As the years have gone by I enjoy her more and more. It helps that she’s exceptionally articulate, emotionally intelligent and hilarious. She’s also a bit odd it has to be said. No one apart from her dad is allowed to kiss her (his lips are dry apparently); she flaps with excitement and often lives in a dream world of her own,
But she’s an only child. She and I largely ignore each other in the evenings once tea is done and our conversations over the table can be painful.
” what was your favourite thing at school today”
“What did you have for lunch?”
“None of your business”
Yet I’ve noticed that as soon as there is more than the two of us, she becomes chatty, articulate and hugely loving to me! It’s a very strange dynamic.
Right now with my honorary nieces staying, she’s an absolute delight. I asked her if she was happier with more people in the house and she said that she was. What to do about that?!