Social Media has transformed relationships and break ups.
In spite of the fact his wife blocked me on his twitter, he told me that he checked my feed out several times a day through another account. I knew a couple of weeks ago that I was recovering because I had not checked him through one of the 8 feeds I have access to, for over a week.
In his half hearted period of trying to rescue his marriage he would regularly come off twitter and then go back on a few days later. Even in the period we were supposedly not talking, no more than a couple of weeks went by when he was not inhabiting our twitter alter ego we created and getting my attention that way.
And then there was his wife reading a comment on my Facebook page, which she was clearly monitoring, which became public when I made a picture my profile and resulted in her “what’s going on” email. Finally there was the shock a couple of days ago, of him having appeared at the top of my news feed in linked in as having removed his picture.
The blog my friend sent to me which talked about the only way to rescue a post affair marriage, said you need to cut off everything aggressively and proactively. Not only can you not see the other woman you must block them everywhere, not see or hear from people you both know, delete any correspondence or pictures.
This will all be huge for him. I run the magazine in the sector he writes for, the show he speaks at, we have lots of connections in common, when on twitter he subscribed to all the news feeds I am on. With enough determination and not needing his ego fed with the fame he was starting to get, it’s possible for him though. It’s certainly not an approach he was following from April in his earlier rescue attempts.
And me? I disconnected with him on linked in so that he doesnt come up in my news feed, I blocked his wife on Facebook yesterday so I don’t have to be utterly paranoid about what I write. It’s more than a week since he responded to me now – my deranged texts and then the sensible trying to get complete ones. Unheard of for him before. I have to conclude he’s either too beside himself or full of self hatred to function or he’s finally taking the sensible approach. How long can he sustain it though? When he has a massive ego to feed? Or will this all have been shocking enough to have transformed him forever.
Yes I’m still thinking about him and still worrying. But with absolutely no news – including nothing on social media to look at, there will eventually be nothing to feed my thoughts which will make it considerably easier to put behind me.