I waited until yesterday to call my parents and say that the deranged version of their daughter they had fretted over had gone away and normal service had been resumed. I needed to be sure she wasn’t coming back.  Not only is there no sign of her reappearing I seem to be visited by some kind of “la vita e bella” fairy who keeps me marvelling at all the amazing aspects of my life I had dismissed as not worth it without him. I feel relaxed, no need to get back on the dating bandwagon, I just want to enjoy and rediscover it all. I’m here and my life is wonderful.

I’ve finally woken up and I don’t want him. I certainly don’t hanker to see him or talk to him. Yet I know how seductive he and I can be for each other and I am not stupid enough to think we are safe enough to get in communication. The only remaining question is whether I decide to punish him by going to an awards dinner I know he is dying to go to but knows he can’t go if I’m there. I am going to sit on that one for a while but right now I am not feeling generous towards him.

For those of you who did like my heartfelt outpourings this could be bad news though I do have a couple of philosophical posts up my sleeve about gossip and amicable divorce. But generally, happiness can just be a bit annoying to read about can’t it? I shouldn’t worry really . My most frivolous post, about false eyelashes, has received by far the most likes so far.

So juicing. Well we’ve all had a go haven’t we? I ordered boxes of carrots, apples, oranges and ginger from Abel and Cole and regularly spent Saturday morning pushing dribbles of juice out until I got bored with ALL THAT CLEANING! So my swish super juicer got relegated to a  big space on top of the fridge. When so many people recommended a nutri bullet or ninja and one was on sale for £69 in sainsbos.. Well you can’t argue with that!

Apparently you don’t even have to peel, so in my cup went chopped up, half a cucumber, an apple, a handful of kale, a kiwi fruit.

10 minutes later having removed the apple, continually stirred the mix of pulp and green leaves, added a further kiwi, I was left with a grainy green purée which looked like something you might feed a baby. You could taste the kiwi peel too.

I suppose reading the accompanying recipes might be in order after all, but most of them called for the addition of packaged juice! What’s the point of getting beautiful pure mango, a lovely ripe nectarine and pairing then with Tescos own long life OJ? I’m mystified and very disappointed. I think the only usable thing in my fridge is a watermelon.

Answers on a postcard?


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