I’m on my fourth book in four days. Whilst I’ve deliberately avoided love stories they have all been poignant in some way for me and made me cry. The author of the latest, makes the point that no matter where you go, you take your troubles with you. I’m still permanently tense round my jaws and whilst I don’t think specifically of him very often, except with anger , my overwhelming feeling is one of disappointment. That something that made me the happiest I have ever felt should be gone, like the last three times it happened to me and that at 46 I should still be without a love. It also made me the saddest I’ve ever been too and I hold on to that. I hope he is very unhappy. I truly do.
It is good, very good, in these circumstances to have to make conversation with strangers. It is so interesting to watch. The newly married Swiss German couple swiftly established themselves as the leaders of the group. Speaking several languages, handsome, with their own horse and Dalmatian with them they introduced themselves to everyone with firm hand shakes and huge smiles. They are sought out by everyone as they are great at conversation, loud and laughing. The Italians tend to keep to their own group and the french and British (myself excluded of course!) are a little shyer. I wondered if that was because they don’t speak other languages but this is not a concern shared by the lovely, relaxed couple from New Mexico. Older, quiet they ooze comfort in themselves.
For my daughter I am delighted. This is a true passion for her and I think establishing herself as an individual it’s great in some ways that she doesn’t share it with me. I prefer the food.