Last night I was the kind of drunk where you can’t see straight, weave when you walk and lose your bags.
It’s always at Jacks and not the pub opposite us, Doggetts, where I have my finest indiscretions.
The first, two years ago was with a colleague (in fairness we had to hold each other up to get to the train station). Then there was Him – we invited him out with the team and proceeded to pour pints of wine down his neck. That was the start of a whole lot of trouble for both of us.
Last night was the 40th birthday of someone (who I will just call Red Wine Teeth) I have worked with for far too long who remembers everything I’ve ever done and regularly brings out emails or pictures to humiliate me with. I love her to bits. She causes me. When I feel like it makes no difference whether I’m there or not, she let’s me know what I bring to the party. And there was a lot of that last night – a lot of love I heard that my team feel for me and for each other which made me so happy. Ok Gloves would only say he was “fond” of me. But I know the truth.
And then there was hitting on Gloves’ best friend who is more in my age group and also suffering from a broken heart. I think we both saw the chance to wind Gloves up with the potential of his best friend and his boss having a thing but he wasn’t biting. The best friend said I had a great aura. I’m not sure if he can actually see them or not but if he can I wouldn’t be surprised if he was right as I do think I am pretty shiny right now, especially since I decided to forgive and move on. I know I’ve been here before but he’s always come back to destroy my equilibrium before and I really think we are done.
I’ve flirted with three men of my own age who are available in two days (that’s not counting the stalker who now wants to “merry me”). Nothing has to come of any of it – it’s the principle of the fact that they are both available and open to a flirt which makes me know they are out there and someone will be right for me soon. I see how I gave everything to someone who whilst he did love me, was not in a position to give back to me.
I was so happy with my evening that walking to the station I grinned so hard I thought my face would break. I’m sure someone muttered “you’re sexy” as I walked past but that could have been the alcohol.